'It hurts', I said.
'I'm not surprised,' he replied in perfect English. 'Ruptured spleen, six broken ribs, and a left leg that we've reattached. Major surgery tomorrow.'
'We're the world leaders in gender realignment - should be a gimme,' he said.
'You've - how do I break it to you gently - can you pee?'
I groped down below, but there wasn't anything to grasp. He saw my expression and signalled to a waiting nurse. Needle in arm. I slumped back on the pillow...
...'We've given you a boob job,' said Federer, 'along with hair removal and facial reconstruction. Your insurance was fine with it - happens a lot.'
'A boob job? Hang on.'
'Agree. The nipples were a bit tricky, but we've sorted that and yeah, well, with the right drugs you could make a living - we're rather proud, excited even.'
'Make a living?'
'Ladyboy, baby ... and I'll be your first customer.'